Body-language – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com Tue, 19 Jan 2021 12:49:30 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.7.1 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cropped-IHI-square-32x32.png Body-language – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com 32 32 Dealing with mean people: 7 smart things you could do https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=dealing-with-mean-people-7-smart-things-you-could-do/ Tue, 19 Jan 2021 12:49:30 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=80412 The post Dealing with mean people: 7 smart things you could do appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Dealing with mean people: 7 smart things you could do

Imagine living in a world where everyone is genuinely nice, and no one has hidden cruel intentions towards anyone. What a wonderful world that would be. Well, unfortunately, that’s not the case. In today’s day and age, you can never be sure whom to trust, whom you can call a friend, and who is ruthlessly […]

The post Dealing with mean people: 7 smart things you could do appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post Dealing with mean people: 7 smart things you could do appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Dealing with mean people: 7 smart things you could do

Imagine living in a world where everyone is genuinely nice, and no one has hidden cruel intentions towards anyone. What a wonderful world that would be. Well, unfortunately, that’s not the case.

In today’s day and age, you can never be sure whom to trust, whom you can call a friend, and who is ruthlessly lying to your face. Besides, you are constantly surrounded by grumpy, unhappy, rude people, which makes the task much harder. But how can you deal with mean people without becoming one? How can you save yourself from becoming just another miserable human being who believes everyone else owes them?

Handling such difficult individuals can be quite tricky. The goal is not to drop to their level. While preparing for a potential confrontation, you need to make sure your attitude is not as low as theirs. In the best-case scenario, you will be able to exit the situation gracefully and with dignity. Just take a deep breath and trust yourself you can do it.

Here are 7 smart actions you could take while dealing with mean people:

1. Get off on the right foot.

In the first few seconds of the conversation, you need to set the right tone. If you want a positive outcome, you should be as kind and open-hearted as possible. Starting off with anger will only make the situation worse.

2. Mind your body language.

Keep both your mind and your body open. Don’s slump your shoulders, fold your arms or cross your legs. These are signs of negative body language, which will be instantly interpreted by the mean person as an act of silent aggression.

3. Follow the Golden Rule.

“Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Following this mindful rule will increase your empathy levels and will help you understand why the other person behaves in such a negative manner.

4. Do not take vengeance into consideration.

Don’t respond to hatred with more hatred. Learn how to control your emotions. Instead of letting your anger take over, remember that you are a sympathetic person and respond to the meanness with kindness. This way, you will assert that you are the bigger person and the mean comments about you cannot hurt you.

5. Practice active listening.

Many people can talk for hours, but only a few know how to listen. We often forget that if we simply let others say what bothers them, we will be able to understand their issues and help them and ourselves deal with whatever comes in our way. The same goes for handling mean individuals.

6. Speak carefully.

Never forget that you may be one of the few good listeners, but the person you’re talking to may have troubles in that area. Mean people usually don’t have the patience and empathy to hear you out, so when interacting with one, you need to speak clearly, calmly, and very carefully.

7. Seek help.

Some extreme circumstances require someone else’s help. A third party can be incredibly useful in times when you are simply unable to handle the mean person on your own. Besides, they will give you an entirely different point of view, which may provide much-needed clarity to the situation.

The post Dealing with mean people: 7 smart things you could do appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
10 things toxic people do before revealing themselves https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=10-things-toxic-people-do-before-revealing-themselves/ Mon, 28 Sep 2020 08:05:12 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=75916 The post 10 things toxic people do before revealing themselves appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 things toxic people do before revealing themselves

Wouldn’t it be relieving if you had the superpower to detect when someone comes in your life with bad intentions? If only we could identify toxic people before we get ourselves hurt… In reality, the ones we believe have our best interest at heart can turn out to hide a secret agenda. These devious people […]

The post 10 things toxic people do before revealing themselves appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post 10 things toxic people do before revealing themselves appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 things toxic people do before revealing themselves

Wouldn’t it be relieving if you had the superpower to detect when someone comes in your life with bad intentions?

If only we could identify toxic people before we get ourselves hurt…

In reality, the ones we believe have our best interest at heart can turn out to hide a secret agenda. These devious people are everywhere around us – at work, at home, even in our romantic relationships. Unfortunately, some of these phonies are too good at making themselves seem decent, that we often fall into their deceitful traps. But there are certain things they do that reveal their true nature even before they succeed in manipulating us.

There are many detectable red flags you should look out for whenever it comes to protecting yourself from a toxic person’s negative influence.

Here are 10 of them:

1. Their actions trigger your intuition.

Trusting your intuition is key in every single relationship you have. It’s as significant as having the ability to see, hear, or speak. What’s more, it helps you recognize indecent people before you even know it. That little voice in your head that tells you not to trust someone is there for a reason.

2. They lie and tell stories that don’t add up.

Even the most experienced manipulators are not 100% focused all the time. Sometimes they become victims of their own consistent lying. They embellish the truth about various subjects and often miss important plot details, which makes their stories seem beyond bizarre.

3. They talk only about themselves.

Toxic people often show severe narcissistic traits. Constantly talking about themselves is one of the most evident warning signs their intentions may not be as sincere as you believe they are. No matter who you are or what you do, they always have something more than you they gladly brag about. This turns a healthy dialogue into an annoying monologue about their fake greatness.

4. They have a secret mission.

Oftentimes we get used by people who only want us to get to something or someone else. It could be someone who acts like they have an interest in you only to get your best friend’s number. It could be a co-worker who befriends you only because they think the boss likes you. No matter the reason, these people’s intentions are questionable from the very beginning.

5. They are obsessive.

When they are not talking about themselves, they are talking about people or objects they are obsessed with. Their minds get so preoccupied that their toxicity becomes nearly obvious. Just think about that colleague who constantly whines about a salary promotion or that cousin who can’t bear the fact your grandparents love you more. Everyday things like these can surely reveal someone’s true colors.

6. They have a history of playing with others’ feelings.

Not all people learn from their mistakes. That’s a harsh truth many of us refuse to accept. However, toxic manipulators are the worst when it comes to dealing with life lessons. Even after they hurt someone badly, they don’t seem to understand the severe consequences of their dishonest actions. If someone has a history of being manipulative with others, they might still be toxic, even if they claim they have changed.

7. Their body language is off.

Sometimes body language can tell you more than a thousand words. That’s why observing someone’s gestures and emotional reactions to certain things can definitely help you with detecting whether they have something hidden in mind. If you sense someone’s body language is off in particular situations, better be cautious around them.

8. They are overly secretive.

If not from hurtful life lessons, then from movies and books, we have learned that the truth always comes out. And who would be more protective of the truth than the one who doesn’t want it to be revealed? If a toxic person has something to hide, and usually they all do, they are going to be overly secretive about every bit of their personal lives. Simple things as putting their phones face-down when around others can tell that something is just not right.

9. They are always a bit on the edge.

Having dark secrets and trying to manipulate many people at once can surely affect one’s emotional reactions. Some toxic people use anxiety as both an excuse for their actions and a reason for others to pity them so they can use their kindness. However, other deceivers are not so witty and unwillingly expose themselves by constantly being on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

10. They are hypocritical.

In other words, toxic people say one thing and do exactly the opposite. For instance, they claim they believe in honesty and integrity, but they lie their way through a certain position in the professional hierarchy. This perfectly displays the massive gap between the fake persona they have created to deceive you and their true cruel intentions.

The post 10 things toxic people do before revealing themselves appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
10 absolute ways to get rid of negative thoughts and invite positivity in your life https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=absolute-ways-to-get-rid-of-negative-thoughts-and-invite-positivity-in-your-life/ Tue, 04 Feb 2020 08:17:19 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=59854 The post 10 absolute ways to get rid of negative thoughts and invite positivity in your life appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 absolute ways to get rid of negative thoughts and invite positivity in your life

Do you often find yourself lost in hundreds of negative thoughts? Is it hard for you to look on the bright side of life? You might have let negativity take over your life. But don’t worry, you can still let the light back into your soul. All you need to do is learn how to […]

The post 10 absolute ways to get rid of negative thoughts and invite positivity in your life appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post 10 absolute ways to get rid of negative thoughts and invite positivity in your life appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 absolute ways to get rid of negative thoughts and invite positivity in your life

Do you often find yourself lost in hundreds of negative thoughts?

Is it hard for you to look on the bright side of life? You might have let negativity take over your life.

But don’t worry, you can still let the light back into your soul. All you need to do is learn how to focus on the good things in life. It’s not as difficult as it may sound.

Here are 10 ways to fight negative thoughts and embrace positivity.

1. Determine the root of your negativity.

Where do all of your negative thoughts come from? You need to figure this out if you still haven’t. And you need to understand why you are feeling this way, in order to find a way to fight it. Make sure you don’t fall into a habit of negative thinking. This shouldn’t be defining your whole mindset. Furthermore, think about how people around you make you feel. The root of your negativity might also be someone’s unhealthy impact on you.

2. Look for the good in life.

The truth is, if you have a negative mind, you could never have a positive life. So next time negative thoughts flow through your mind, look for something positive in the situation. Ask yourself if there is anything you can learn from this challenge life brings you. For every negative thought, find one thing to be grateful for. You will be amazed by how much your life will change when you practice gratitude on a daily basis.

3. Be good to people around you.

If you are positive and kind to other people, even if you fake it at the beginning, you will invite positivity into your life too. Try to be an empathetic person, a good listener, and a trustworthy friend. Encouraging optimistic thoughts into your loved ones’ lives will definitely affect your own mind. Sooner or later, your own headspace will be filled with kindness.

4. Understand that your negative thoughts don’t define you.

You are not made of gloomy, pessimistic thoughts. Even if your mind is filled with negative thoughts today, this doesn’t mean tomorrow will be the same. Have in mind that the Universe listens to all of your thoughts. So if you want to change your life for the better, you need to become the energy you want to attract.

5. Practice gratitude.

This is something all people should do. Life is filled with amazing, uplifting, and inspiring things we should all be grateful for. Whenever you feel like negativity tries to take over your mind, remind yourself of all the great things in your life. Acknowledge the little things that make life exciting and thrilling, and be thankful for the people who love and support you. Invite positivity in your life by practicing gratitude.

6. Change the way you talk about yourself.

The origin of your negativity might be the way you view yourself. If you think less of yourself, how would you expect other people to respect you and enjoy your company? You need to change the way you perceive yourself. Instead of saying “I’m not good enough”, say “I’ll try harder”. Positive affirmations are key. Have a little faith in yourself. You would be surprised of all your hidden talents and skills you will unlock, only by believing in your own potential.

7. Focus on the present.

Don’t miss out on the present by overthinking your past experiences. Acknowledge where you are now, and learn how to enjoy the little things in life. If you focus too much on the past or look too further in the future, you might forget to appreciate what you have right now. What you do today will shape your future, so make it count!

8. Talk about it.

Bottling up your emotions will bring you more pain than embracing them. Trying to keep all the negative thoughts to yourself sooner or later will backfire and hurt you even more. What you need to do is learn how to face your feelings and allow them to flow through you. But never let them fully control your life. A good friend might be just what you need. Someone compassionate enough to understand what you’re going through and help you overcome it. Sharing your problems with someone is a great way to take the first step towards your emotional healing.

9. Work on your body language.

Believe it or not, body language plays a great role in your positive thinking. It can be an extremely powerful tool for communication and influence. What’s more, it can even affect your way of thinking. By implementing some essential changes in your body language, you can easily become a more positive and open-minded person. For instance, you can try to smile more, relax your face muscles, drop your shoulders back, and overall be more open. Crossing your arms and legs in a defensive position will only make you appear unwelcoming. When your body feels more relaxed and comfortably seated, your mind will surely follow.

10. Exercise.

Working out can be an amazing stress-reliever. Sweating negativity out will not only make you feel better but will also boost your self-esteem. No one says you have to spend hours in the gym every day. Just a brief 20-30 minute work-out would have an awesome effect on your thoughts. And the gym is not the only place you could do this.

There are many ways to exercise the negative thoughts out of your mind.

You can dance, swim, surf, ride a bike, do yoga… Basically, whatever physical activity floats your boat. This will surely keep your mind clear, and as a bonus – your body healthier.

The post 10 absolute ways to get rid of negative thoughts and invite positivity in your life appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
5 Reasons Why Introverts HATE Talking On The Phone https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=why-introverts-hate-talking-on-phone/ Tue, 21 May 2019 06:01:01 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=45025 The post 5 Reasons Why Introverts HATE Talking On The Phone appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

5 Reasons Why Introverts HATE Talking On The Phone

I am an introvert, and I’ll tell you a fact about me that doesn’t seem to change over time: I hate talking on the phone. Most calls that happen these days seem to be spam and scam callers, but even people I know and love, I have to think hard and fast about whether or […]

The post 5 Reasons Why Introverts HATE Talking On The Phone appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post 5 Reasons Why Introverts HATE Talking On The Phone appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

5 Reasons Why Introverts HATE Talking On The Phone

I am an introvert, and I’ll tell you a fact about me that doesn’t seem to change over time: I hate talking on the phone.

Most calls that happen these days seem to be spam and scam callers, but even people I know and love, I have to think hard and fast about whether or not I’m going to screen the call or simply text them instead.

It’s not a matter of disrespecting the other person, and it doesn’t stem from disliking them either. Introverts just kind of hate talking on the phone. There’s so much lacking in a phone call that you can get from direct contact. If you’re planning to call an introvert, ask yourself: could this be summarized in a text? If so, just text.

Here are 5 reasons that introverts can’t stand being on the phone.

1. Lack of facial expressions or body language.

Introverts tend to use their senses to empathize with the person they’re speaking to. They want to feel what you’re feeling! That can be extraordinarily difficult over the telephone. There’s no facial expressions or body language to try and read. In the absence of those two things, tone of voice is all we have to go on, and that’s often pretty insufficient.

Texting also lacks this, which makes lengthy texting conversations difficult to navigate. It’s better for us to meet up face to face and talk if possible!

2. No time allotted for it.

I, and a lot of people who are introverted like me, tend to manage our time pretty rigidly. If we have something planned for the period of time which we’re called, there is a real chance we’re going to blow off the call and stick to our plans. If you plan to call your introverted friend, give them a heads up a few hours before! This helps us carve out the time needed for a phone call.

3. There’s no agenda.

So on top of wanting to carve out the proper amount of time for a call, I like to know what the call’s going to be about ahead of time. Just want to catch up? Awesome. Want to talk to me about your new business venture? Would love to hear about it. Just let me know what you have that you’d like to talk about. That’ll allow me to get in the necessary headspace to be a little bit more receptive to the topic of conversation.

4. There’s too much small talk.

Introverts like me tend to have a strong aversion to small talk, and that’s a lot of what you get when you receive an unexpected phone call. Speaking for myself, I know I would much rather jump right into the meat of the conversation and get the hell off the phone than talk about the weather or how our grandmas are doing.

If you’re planning to buzz your introverted friend, have a plan in mind for what it is that you want to talk about. Push past the usual pleasantries and cut right to the heart of the reason for the call. Then for God’s sake, don’t linger on the line. Cut the poor introvert loose!

5. There’s no exit strategy.

Nothing kills me more than a call that just seems to drag on and on and on. Two hours in and I’m about ready to throw myself off a bridge. A good call with an introvert should come with an exit strategy, a rough end time. When an introvert initiates the end of a call, it can feel a little bit jarring and abrupt. If you’re calling your introverted friend, know when to hang up!

Of course, I’ve been framing this as though introverts are these antisocial people that don’t want to talk.

We do! There are just some things we need from you in order to be good phone people. And there are things we can do to be better phone people as well.

If you’ve got a call coming up, make the time for it, have a plan for getting into and out of the call, and maybe even reward yourself for being a social phone talking person. You can also choose to not answer the phone if you’re really not feeling it. Silence your ringer and text back anyone who calls you while it’s off! Even if you miss a call, that’s ok. I doubt anyone will be mad at you.

The post 5 Reasons Why Introverts HATE Talking On The Phone appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
Are You Dating an Introvert? Make The Best Out Of It With These 5 Simple But Powerful Tips https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=dating-introvert-simple-tips/ Fri, 28 Sep 2018 08:04:06 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=35631 The post Are You Dating an Introvert? Make The Best Out Of It With These 5 Simple But Powerful Tips appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Are You Dating an Introvert? Make The Best Out Of It With These 5 Simple But Powerful Tips

All of us want to establish a close and stable connection with our partner in a relationship. That is valid even for introverts who generally like spending much time alone and would always prefer doing things on their own. So if you are dating an introvert, you might experience some hardships before you succeed in creating […]

The post Are You Dating an Introvert? Make The Best Out Of It With These 5 Simple But Powerful Tips appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post Are You Dating an Introvert? Make The Best Out Of It With These 5 Simple But Powerful Tips appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Are You Dating an Introvert? Make The Best Out Of It With These 5 Simple But Powerful Tips

All of us want to establish a close and stable connection with our partner in a relationship.

That is valid even for introverts who generally like spending much time alone and would always prefer doing things on their own.

So if you are dating an introvert, you might experience some hardships before you succeed in creating a close bond with them.

These people are usually closed off to the outer world. And although that happens unintentionally, introverted people require much more time to open up and their partner has to put a lot of effort to make them do so.

That is why we have provided a list of 5 simple but powerful tips from experts that could help you make the most of dating an introvert.

1. Chose a familiar place for your first date.

First of all, when you start dating someone, going someplace new is never a good idea. You won’t know your way around, and you might be distracted by trying to get to know the place which won’t allow you to pay enough attention to your date and this could make them feel disappointed.

On the other hand, remember that introverts are not the type of people who would like to go to a super fancy popular bar with a lot of other people visiting at the same time. Choose a coffee shop, unpretentious restaurant, or a small bar you have already been to. That theory is confirmed by Love Life TBD dating and relationships coach Ravid Yosef:

“Some of the ways to feel more comfortable instantly is by making sure you are first comfortable with your surroundings. Pick a location that is familiar to you. That you already like and know. So that you’re setting yourself up for success,” “Get comfortable with sharing yourself. And ask questions that allow for a deeper and more meaningful connection since that’s where you excel.”

2. Make your first date shorter. Also, give the other person enough time for a rest before you meet again.

Meeting you introverted date for a drink or coffee or attending some short event is usually the most appropriate option. For them having less time with you would be better in the beginning as it involves less dread or stress. And, if things go well, that short chunk of time would probably be extended into dinner or a movie night together. Another important thing is to give your date enough time after you’ve been together. Don’t rush them into seeing you again the evening after your first date. According to Psychotherapist and Dating Coach Pella Weisman:

“It’s important for introverts to make sure they have lots of alone time to recharge between dates. Especially if they have socially demanding jobs, introverts need to make sure that they give themselves the alone time. They need to have the energy to be present and engaged on dates.”

3. Pay attention to the things you are talking about.

A big problem could be what to say when you first start speaking or meet up with an introvert. So it is essential to pick up the conversations’ topics wisely. Instead of asking your date what they do for a living, suggest them to tell you something more meaningful and exciting about their life. And never ask questions only to keep to the conversation going. That could make your date feel like it is an interrogation. And could reveal you are not mature enough to maintain a serious conversation. Avoid oversharing on a first date as this can be a bit heavy for the other person. Giving all of the details of your last breakup is oversharing—don’t tell them about it until you have become closer.

“Introverts often like to go deep (with the right person), but don’t excel as much with chit-chat. You may want to give their profile and messages another read before meeting up. So those commonalities are fresh in your mind,” Online Dating Expert at eFlirt Laurie Davis Edwards says. “Push yourself to speak up a little more, but also, use your body language to do the talking for you. If you know you have a quieter attitude on a first date, create chemistry through being slightly more overt with your body language.”

4. Choose some exciting activities for your first date.

Apart from paying attention to what you say and using your body language actively, you could choose a date in which you are actively doing something else. Meeting at a small restaurant is not a bad idea. But you could also visit the zoo or go to the park for a walk; could go to a festival or exhibition, or a concert maybe? Try not be talking that much during the date. The activities you are doing with your partner would give you more to talk about in the future. According to the Sexologist and Relationship Expert Nikki Goldstein:

“Choose dates where you are not face-to-face with the person. Sitting at the dinner table opposite someone you are on a date with can be daunting for anyone especially an introvert. Try and choose activities where you are side-by-side working on something, and there are things to talk about,” “Physical and outdoor activities are good as you might need to discuss what it is you are doing and how you are doing it rather than talking about what you both ate for breakfast.”

5. Make your introverted date knows you feel OK with their personality.

Sometimes introverts feel ashamed that they are like this so they may be able to “fake” an outgoingness for a short period only doing that to make you a good first impression. So, if you keep dating an introvert, you might not be aware of it right away. However, with time, as you talk about your interests and hobbies that aspect of their personality will sooner or later come out. So, to make your date feel OK with it, And to show them that you too are Ok with that, let them know it. Show them it’s perfectly fine to be who they are. To do this, you could reveal that you also feel insecure and vulnerable. Here is what the psychiatrist specializing in women’s issues Susan Edelman thinks about this:

“Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, if you’re shy or nervous about your date, it can work in your favor to admit it,” she says. “Showing a little vulnerability can make you seem more approachable and likable. It also can be reassuring to your date.”

Eventually, we should admit that there is not an easy person when it comes to dating But introverts seem a little bit more difficult than the rest. So, if you have really fallen in love with somebody who has an introverted personality, you should act with a lot of patience and motivation.

Have you ever dated an introvert? Please, share your experience.

The post Are You Dating an Introvert? Make The Best Out Of It With These 5 Simple But Powerful Tips appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
10 Telltale Warning Signs Someone Is Being Jealous Of You https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=someone-is-jealous-of-you/ Mon, 06 Aug 2018 11:10:15 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=33893 The post 10 Telltale Warning Signs Someone Is Being Jealous Of You appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 Telltale Warning Signs Someone Is Being Jealous Of You

We can’t escape from jealousy. We have all witnessed it or have made others feel jealous of us. More often than not, we tend to be jealous of those who we are emotionally involved with – husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, or partners in general. Sometimes people get jealous of those who are (or at least […]

The post 10 Telltale Warning Signs Someone Is Being Jealous Of You appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post 10 Telltale Warning Signs Someone Is Being Jealous Of You appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 Telltale Warning Signs Someone Is Being Jealous Of You

We can’t escape from jealousy.

We have all witnessed it or have made others feel jealous of us.

More often than not, we tend to be jealous of those who we are emotionally involved with – husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, or partners in general. Sometimes people get jealous of those who are (or at least appear to be) more beautiful or successful than themselves. The most common manifestations of jealousy include fear, deep insecurity, constant worries, and envy. And very often people try to hide or mask it. That is why it is sometimes hard to tell if someone is being jealous of you or not.

More often than not, people who often relapse into overbearing fits of jealousy have some underlying personality issues such as, for example, low self-esteem, insecurity regarding their own worth and general uncertainty about the future.

Below you can find ten telltale signs that someone is jealous of you:

1. Most probably would pay false compliments

An insecure person would compliment you when you see each other face to face but could gossip or tell lies about you behind your back. Such people are double-faced, and you stand almost no chance of exposing their true nature. That is why you should pay attention to what you confess to others and always ask your friends whether someone has not been talking rubbish about you behind your back. A sign that someone is being jealous of you might be that they allow a long silent moment before telling you that you have done great. Their secret envy of your success causes that reaction.

2. Might try to belittle your success

People who are jealous could try to undervalue your success. They feel insecure because they are not able to achieve as much as you have achieved. They would always try to convince the others that you are not good enough. So, it is a red flag if every time you tell your best friend about something big you’ve done, he or she retells it to other people as if your achievement was a piece of cake.

3. There’s a high chance that they boast about their success

More often than not, if a jealous person becomes successful in anything, he or she will do the impossible to make the whole world understand about it. They will flaunt their success. Usually, people who behave like this are envious of others’ achievements and would do anything to prove that they are worth at least as much.

4. Jealous people tend to cross their legs

According to body language, a person might cross their legs for a variety of reasons. For example, this is a common reaction when one feels insecure, uneasy and, last but not least, when they are jealous of something or somebody. If your friend instinctively crosses their legs every time you share some achievement of yours with them, this may signal that they actually envy you.

5. Jealous people are anxious to compete

Psychologist Melanie Greenberg explains that when someone’s jealous they have a strong need to prove their superiority. As a result, people who are prone to experiencing regular fits of envy or jealousy also tend to be over-competitive. Of course, competitiveness could lead to success if it is triggered by genuine ambition. However, this is rarely the case with jealous people. These individuals take almost sadistic pleasure in humiliating people. Their second most favorite thing is bragging about their success. Few things are more pathetic than a sore winner, though.

6. Jealous people are great copycats

Although psychologists claim copycat behavior is a sign of flattery, someone who is jealous of you may also try to take after you and to imitate everything you do. They could go as far as walking, dressing and talking the way you do. Even if you take it as a compliment at first, sooner or later it will start getting under your skin. The best thing you can do is try not to pay too much attention to the annoying copycat.

7. Most probably will dish the dirt on you

Research shows that people who gossip the most have very high levels of anxiety, aggression or are extremely unhappy. They could gossip because they want to feel superior since they aren’t confident in themselves. People who are envious of your success or anything else which puts you above them could try to ruin your good reputation by making negative comments or spreading false rumors about you.

8. Jealous people celebrate others’ failure

Jealous people would always feel happy if you let them know that have fallen short of accomplishing your goals for whatever reason. But they will never let you know about the malicious joy that the news of your setback has brought them.

Rather, they will secretly rejoice the fact that for once you’ve failed in something, and it doesn’t really matter what it was. All that matters to them is that they are better than you, and you are not up to their level. I do not need to remind you that anyone that takes pleasure in seeing you fail is not a good person and does not wish you well. If you notice such type of behavior from your closest friend, you’d better distance yourself at once.

9. Jealous people are mighty plan-spoilers

Another sign of that someone might be jealous of you is when they happily give you some bad news on the pretext of doing you a favor. Suppose you’ve decided to go to the beach, but upon sharing your plans with your jealous friend, they instantly tell you that it’s going to rain for the next few days. Not that they know it for sure, it’s just the first thing they could think of so as to put a spoke in your wheel. So, pay attention if your friend does or say something that could spoil your plans or make you focus on some negative possibilities.

10. Jealousy easily turns into hatred

Through life, it is impossible not to meet people who make your skin crawl. Unfortunately, a big part of the success we achieve usually comes at the cost of having to deal with individuals, who would hate us for no apparent reason.

These people might not behave aggressively, but they will not miss a chance to demonstrate their dislike of you in one way or another. The right way to deal with them is to show them how little they mean to you. I wouldn’t bother to even think about such people, as the poor attitude you’ve been getting from them is totally undeserved.

Has someone ever been jealous of you?

How did you find out, what did you do? Please, share your experience!

The post 10 Telltale Warning Signs Someone Is Being Jealous Of You appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
6 Easy Steps To Boost Your Attractiveness https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=boost-your-attractiveness/ Thu, 02 Aug 2018 06:51:39 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=33717 The post 6 Easy Steps To Boost Your Attractiveness appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

6 Easy Steps To Boost Your Attractiveness

Beauty is a different concept for everyone. Each person has their own idea of attractiveness. When it comes to body type, clothes or hairstyle opinions may vary immensely. However, there are personality traits that could also make you beautiful in the eyes of others. Individuals who are charming and possess magnetism always stand out from […]

The post 6 Easy Steps To Boost Your Attractiveness appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post 6 Easy Steps To Boost Your Attractiveness appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

6 Easy Steps To Boost Your Attractiveness

Beauty is a different concept for everyone. Each person has their own idea of attractiveness.

When it comes to body type, clothes or hairstyle opinions may vary immensely. However, there are personality traits that could also make you beautiful in the eyes of others. Individuals who are charming and possess magnetism always stand out from the rest and make a positive impression on people.

These 6 easy steps, could help you to boost your natural magnetism and make others like you:

1. Socialize actively

Socialize with people, talk to them, be available either for a friendship or for a small talk . Especially when you are in a social setting. You shouldn’t stay in the corner far away from the others. Express your mood, communicate actively. Talk and interact. Show the others around you that you are an impressive person. Find someone interesting and start chatting with them. Tell something about yourself or find a topic to discuss. Remember, demonstrating your availability for contact might boost your popularity.

2. Pay attention to body language

Pay attention to your body language as well. Try avoiding gestures that might mean you are not in the mood to make new acquaintances. Don’t put your hands in your pockets or hide them under your coat. This way you unconsciously tell the others that you aren’t ready for communication.

On the top of that, these poses make you less attractive.

To show your availability, stay with your hands in sight and your torso open. When you talk with someone don’t touch your purse. Better put it over your shoulder. Don’t play with your cell phone. You shouldn’t make gestures while you talk either. This kind of body language could make you more attractive because it shows that you are available and interested in making new friendships.

3. Try to be interesting for the others

Try to hold the interest in yourself. This you could do by ending your communication at the point where you are still interesting to the other. Your conversation partner will be anxious to meet you soon, in order to hear more of what you could tell them. Remember, your attractiveness increases very much if you are constantly present in someone’s mind. Another tip to remember. Don’t worry that people will lose interest in you if you are not that well-built or don’t live up to impossible beauty standards. Research proves that attractiveness might come from our personality and character as well. It consists of confidence and satisfaction. It is revealed when we show the world that we feel well in our own skin. And when we can make others feel comfortable.

4. Be an active listener

People are usually interested in themselves. So if you are a good listener, you could become attractive very quickly. Another thing you should do while listening is to show that you understand what the other is talking about.

This is called active listening.

Repeat the information you’ve received. Then pose questions to show that you feel interested. Respond if appropriate, but pay close attention to the other person. Don’t just wait for the time when you have to speak. If you meet the same person again, make a small reference about things you’ve discussed. Showing them you remember all the details from your conversation might seem a bit too personal. However, one or two facts they’ve shared with you reveal that you are interested in them.

5. The first impression matters

It’s true that the first impression plays a crucial role when others form an opinion about us. A recent research revealed that people estimated the physical attractiveness of another man or woman in not more than a second! In places like schools or offices, this might take about 20-30 seconds though. Since people study or work in these institutions, they are not that predisposed towards romantic contacts.

Try to be in a good mood whenever possible.

This could help you make a positive first impression. People are attracted to natural beauty and character. So don’t act as someone you’re not. Always be confident and demonstrate your most attractive qualities. You never know who you can meet behind the corner.

6. Draw attention

Some people don’t like standing out. They prefer to get lost in the crowd and not to attract people’s attention. Yet the most effective way others to like you is to do exactly the opposite! Try to be interesting. Everyone is curious to learn new stories or gossips. And a mysterious, attractive person is always someone to think about. When you are at a party or at a boring business cocktail, listen to the others. And you’ll see that most of them are always repeating the same monotonous phrases

Have we met? How’s your wife? …

This makes conversations and interactions tame. In such a situation you could easily stand out if you tell an interesting story or ask the other about their hobbies for example. Say a funny joke or an original story. And you might quickly become the most popular person in the room.

If you want to increase your attractiveness, don’t hesitate to follow these 6 easy steps.

You should see a positive difference shortly.

If you enjoyed this article, please SHARE it with your family and friends on Facebook!

The post 6 Easy Steps To Boost Your Attractiveness appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
Blushing and Body Language – 6 Facts About Guilt, Blaming and Embarrassment https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=blushing-body-language-guilt-blaming-and-embarrassment/ Wed, 14 Mar 2018 07:57:55 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=31800 The post Blushing and Body Language – 6 Facts About Guilt, Blaming and Embarrassment appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Blushing and Body Language – 6 Facts About Guilt, Blaming and Embarrassment

Why and how do you blush when you are embarrassed? Heavy blushing usually related to moments when we feel that the positive side of our image has been damaged, by us or by someone else. But it’s not always that simple. While the exact emotions that result in blushing remain difficult to pin-point: they’re different […]

The post Blushing and Body Language – 6 Facts About Guilt, Blaming and Embarrassment appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post Blushing and Body Language – 6 Facts About Guilt, Blaming and Embarrassment appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Blushing and Body Language – 6 Facts About Guilt, Blaming and Embarrassment

Why and how do you blush when you are embarrassed?

Heavy blushing usually related to moments when we feel that the positive side of our image has been damaged, by us or by someone else. But it’s not always that simple. While the exact emotions that result in blushing remain difficult to pin-point: they’re different for each person and situation, the physical symptoms are easier to explain.

t’s related to your fight-or-flight response. You might logically think that there’s no physical threat. True. But in some way there is a threat of either rejection or loss of stature, or position. You just don’t want to look dumb or stupid, or get negative attention. When we feel (subconsciously) threatened, our sympathetic nervous system (the one that does things we don’t have to think about), gears up for action. This includes the release of adrenaline, which leads to an increased heart rate and wider blood vessels.

When that happens to the capillaries (really thin blood vessels) in your face, the blood flow increases and you turn read. As simple and as awkward as that. Because it happens in the sympathetic nervous system, it’s also really hard (or pretty much impossible) to suppress. (sources at end)

2. The murder of Kitty Genovese

The murder of Kitty Genovese became infamous crime and an unintentional case study in human behaviour around responsibility. On the 13th of March, 1964, Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death in the Queens area, New York. Not much later, only six days, Winston Mosely was arrested at a burglary and he also confessed to murdering Kitty. These aren’t even the oddest details about the case. Investigations suggested that over 35 people either heard part of or witnessed part of the crime, yet nobody came to her aid. Mosely was sentenced to death, but this was reduced to life imprisonment. When he died in 2016 (source), the New York Times – which published the original report about the investigations – stated that the original report was exaggerated.

Several things have been amended since then. Apparently the police was called by at least 2 people, but they did not respond as they believed it was a domestic dispute rather than an actual murder. But however many witnesses there were, this idea that the more people witness something happen, the less people feel the need to act upon it. The “responsibility” is diminished; people might subconsciously expect someone else to handle it because there are enough people anyway. Nevertheless, this effect is often referred to as either the bystander effect, or the Kitty Genovese Effect, in her honor.

3. Where does the expression “scapegoat” come from?

“Scapegoat” is a characteristic expression for a person blamed for something someone else has done, but where does the expression come from? Why the goat? Apparently it comes from the Old Testament of the Bible. Therefore it comes from the Judeo-Christian tradtion. In the book of Leviticus, Moses is apparently commanded as follows: “Aaron shall cast lots upon the two goats; one lot for the LORD, and the other lot for the scapegoat.” This scapegoat was supposed to be released into the wilderness, symbolically (or literally, depending on the belief system) carrying the sins of the village out with it. In that way, it developed the meaning of someone carrying the burden of things done by others. Some modern branches of Christianity also liken this event to the sacrifice of Jesus, giving himself up for the sins of humanity.

4. Is blushing from embarrassment a psychological or a social phenomenon?

It would be amazing to say it’s either one or the other, but as you know: with psychology subjects it’s usually a little bit of both. In the social sense, it’s mostly triggered when there are others present. It does happen that people blush when they are on their own, but in the majority of cases is happens (partly) because of the presence of others.

In the psychological sense; another big part of embarrassment is the fact that we feel – subconsciously or consciously – that this moment was embarrassing, whether that’s true or not. It’s our perception and judgement of the moment that is a major factor in whether we feel embarrassed and therefore start blushing. Therefore it will always be both social and psychological. (source)

5. How do they test how people handle social stress/embarrassment in psychology research?

Psychological research is difficult for all sort of reasons, but it turns really tricky when you want to test people while they are exeriencing a certain emotion. How do you make sure they are experiencing that emotion at the moment of the test? Well, some clever psychology scientists have thought of a way to, at least, get people stressed or embarrassed. This happens with the Trier Social Stress Test, which has been proven to be a fairly reliable method of making people stressed.

It’s mostly used for neurobiological research purposes (the mostly the nerves in your brain and your brain’s response). “The Trier Social Stress Test induces stress by requiring participants to make an interview-style presentation, followed by a surprise mental arithmetic test, in front of an interview panel who do not provide [positive] feedback or encouragement.”  (source) Sounds quite stressful to me!

6. Is it true that you can tell when someone is lying by their eyes?

Avoiding eye-contact is a commonly discussed “sign”. We might even do it unintentionally, because we might believe that people can read our lies in our eyes. But this is definitely not the be-all-end-all of telling when someone is lying. In fact, it might not mean anything in a lot of cases, some people just don’t make a lot of eye-contact in general. To add to that, unusually intense and frequent eye-contact can also be a sign that someone is trying too hard to seem like they’re telling the truth when they are not.

The most important thing in eye/looking behaviour and lies, is deviation. You want to watch out for deviations from normal behaviour. Then again, there is so much variation between people – and unfortunately some are just quite convincing liars – so body language always remains a tricky subject.

So these were some very interesting facts about guilt, embarrassment and lying. We know that some of these answers are so much more complex than in this article, and that’s why we want to ask you: which one would you most like to see as a full-length stand-alone article? What floats your boat? Research methods, or perhaps body language? Or any of the others. Let us know on facebook or tumblr and we’ll collect the votes for you!

Via Psych2go

The post Blushing and Body Language – 6 Facts About Guilt, Blaming and Embarrassment appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
6 Hand Gestures for the Ultimate Professional…and 4 to Never-Ever Use https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=hand-gestures-for-ultimate-professional/ Fri, 01 Sep 2017 13:47:39 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=29705 The post 6 Hand Gestures for the Ultimate Professional…and 4 to Never-Ever Use appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

6 Hand Gestures for the Ultimate Professional...and 4 to Never-Ever Use

In the business world, you’ll run into a lot of opportunities to make you look like the ultimate professional…or the ultimate ignoramus. Your body language has a lot to do with this; if you’re making gestures that project confidence people will probably find you attractive. If you’re making gestures that make you look weak, flawed, […]

The post 6 Hand Gestures for the Ultimate Professional…and 4 to Never-Ever Use appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post 6 Hand Gestures for the Ultimate Professional…and 4 to Never-Ever Use appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

6 Hand Gestures for the Ultimate Professional...and 4 to Never-Ever Use

In the business world, you’ll run into a lot of opportunities to make you look like the ultimate professional…or the ultimate ignoramus. Your body language has a lot to do with this; if you’re making gestures that project confidence people will probably find you attractive. If you’re making gestures that make you look weak, flawed, or just plain stupid, those won’t help either.

So we’ve prepared a rundown for you: here are six gestures that will make you look more powerful, and four to never, ever do.

1. Show two things being brought together by bringing your hands together.

If you say something like “we focus on design that people find useful” raise your left hand when you say “design”, your right when you say “people” and bring them together. Sounds cheesy, but it works.

2. Help your audience keep track of your explanations by using one hand to represent one thing and the other to represent the other, and move them as such.

So if you’re talking about strategy 1 (left hand) and strategy 2 (right hand) it’s easier for you audience to understand what you’re talking about by using the assigned hand when you’re talking about that strategy.

3. Emphasize emotional statements by placing hand over heart.

This would be appropriate when you say something like “This means so much to me.”

4. Use your hands to show importance of things.

For a minor issue, use your thumb and forefinger to show how tiny it really is.. Use both hands spread wide when you’re talking about a big issue.

5. Show the number with your fingers when you say a number.

This helps your audience stay focused and brings back those who might be mentally wandering. For example, “We have three major issues to address today.” Hand up in the number 3.

6. Use the dialectic.

This gesture is so hard to describe that I am going to point you to this Wired article that has a GIF of it. You’ll recognize it: it’s used by TED talk speakers and pros around the world. It’s a slight claw-into-spin-of-the-wrist-ending-with-academic-flourish. It’s spellbinding and you can use it for emphasis on practically anything. Just don’t, as with any of these gestures, overuse it.

So there are your six to keep you looking like a pro. Here are the four to avoid at all costs:

1. Self-touch: the equivalent of thumb-sucking for adults.

People who are uncomfortable will often start rubbing their arm or leg or even their face to self-soothe. Don’t do that.

2. Don’t. Fidget.

As a chronic fidgeter when I have had too much coffee I totally understand, but fidgeting basically states “I’m insecure right now, and I have to find something to do to distract myself.”

3. Keep your hands out of your pockets.

While it may feel natural to you to put your hands in your pockets, in a professional setting it can project nervousness. Clasp your hands in front of or behind you, or if you must go for the pockets try hooking your thumbs into them instead of putting your hands fully in your pockets.

4. Shoulder shrugging:

it’s super-common for one shoulder to rise up slightly while you’re talking to someone, but it projects a lack of self-confidence. Try to keep your shoulders level.

The post 6 Hand Gestures for the Ultimate Professional…and 4 to Never-Ever Use appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
10 Habits of Highly Confident People https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=habits-of-highly-confident-people/ Wed, 12 Jul 2017 07:23:23 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=29784 The post 10 Habits of Highly Confident People appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 Habits of Highly Confident People

We all know those people who just seem to exude confidence. Their personalities may turn that into looking charming, charismatic, sophisticated, elegant, etc. but underneath all of that is a bedrock of confidence. How do they do it? What’s their secret? What do they have that you perhaps don’t? To find out, let’s check out […]

The post 10 Habits of Highly Confident People appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>
The post 10 Habits of Highly Confident People appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

10 Habits of Highly Confident People

We all know those people who just seem to exude confidence. Their personalities may turn that into looking charming, charismatic, sophisticated, elegant, etc. but underneath all of that is a bedrock of confidence. How do they do it? What’s their secret? What do they have that you perhaps don’t?

To find out, let’s check out these 10 habits of highly confident people:

1. Smile!

People with a lot of confidence seem to always be smiling, even if it’s just a slightly-upturned smile or a trademark smirk. They always appear to be on top of the world and it comes through when they smile. Studies show that smiling even slightly lowers other people’s guard and makes them more likely to trust that person.

2. Being vulnerable.

Contrary to how it sounds, showing vulnerability is hardly a weakness…actually, quite the opposite. When a person appears vulnerable, others are more likely to trust and respect them. Vulnerability is, in this way, both charming and compelling. Being vulnerable also creates space for others to feel like it’s okay for them to be vulnerable, too.

3. Positive mindset.

If you start each day in a positive frame of mind, it’s difficult to bring you down. If you start each day, on the other hand, in a negative frame of mind, it’s really difficult to crawl out of that place. Starting each day in a positive mindset and maintaining it throughout the day by starting conversations positively and keeping positive thoughts running your brain creates an amazing projection of confidence.

4. Drop the need to be right.

Wait a minute, but aren’t people who are brimming with confidence always right? Or don’t they always think they are? An Emory University study showed that the “fight or flight” response is proportionate to the subject at hand: in other words, most people are much more reactive when they are dealing with a topic that stokes their passions. Not so with confident people. They will suppress these “lizard brain” emotions to be involved in a conversation, to engage in and continue to sustain an interaction, even with people who have the completely opposite point of view.

5. Actively Listening

Active listeners express interest in what the other person is saying and ask questions of them, making the participants in the conversation enjoy it more and engage more. It also means they are more likely to judge the conclusion of the conversation as more valid.

6. A Powerful Message

is great, but there has to be a good purpose behind it. Some people’s stories are inspirational (e.g. Kevin Spacey). Tell your story however you’d like, but try to be impactful towards your audience as well. Humility is often a good way to do this.

7. Sharing the spotlight is something confident people do easily and readily.

Instead of hogging the stage to themselves, they look for opportunities to pile praise on others and have a certain selfless generosity of spirit.

8. Be curious

Conversations are stifling, yawn-inducing and disrespectful when they’re one-sided. Encourage the person you’re talking with to talk about themselves, and continue to ask helpful questions that egg them on throughout. (Also: don’t sweat the details. They’re not that important.)

9. Take a sincere interest in others

True sincerity comes from maintaining a mindful approach throughout a conversation. Instead of thinking of your response while the other person is speaking, listen fully to what they are saying, give yourself a moment or two to formulate your response, and then respond. This makes for a much more enlightening conversation for you both.

10. Check your body language

Nothing can transmit more about who you are and what you have to say than your body language. Posture strongly correlates with how you’re feeling — a mind and body connection. Confident people may not even feel confident at all times, but they know how important it is to appear that way. As such, they pay close attention to their body language, especially when they may not be feeling too confident just then.

What do you think of these habits? Are there any you especially want to try? Let us know; we love hearing from you!

The post 10 Habits of Highly Confident People appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

]]>