small talk – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com Tue, 01 Dec 2020 09:16:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.7.1 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=wp-content/uploads/2019/05/cropped-IHI-square-32x32.png small talk – I Heart Intelligence.com https://iheartintelligence.com 32 32 6 reasons why strong women prefer to be alone than surrounded by fake people https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=6-reasons-why-strong-women-prefer-to-be-alone-than-surrounded-by-fake-people/ Tue, 01 Dec 2020 09:16:00 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=81995 The post 6 reasons why strong women prefer to be alone than surrounded by fake people appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

6 reasons why strong women prefer to be alone than surrounded by fake people

She is a strong woman who is not willing to make compromises with herself to make others feel better about themselves. So if she needs to be on her own instead of in someone’s fake company, she will gladly do it. Here are 6 reasons why she would rather stay alone than be surrounded by […]

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The post 6 reasons why strong women prefer to be alone than surrounded by fake people appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

6 reasons why strong women prefer to be alone than surrounded by fake people

She is a strong woman who is not willing to make compromises with herself to make others feel better about themselves.

So if she needs to be on her own instead of in someone’s fake company, she will gladly do it.

Here are 6 reasons why she would rather stay alone than be surrounded by fake people

1. She is not a fan of small talk.

Small talk is for small-minded people. She isn’t someone who would gladly engage in meaningless conversations. Instead of talking about the weather, she would rather be involved in discussions that intrigue her and inspire her to explore new depths. So, whenever someone tries to drag her into a trivial small talk, she would not hesitate to simply walk out of the situation.

2. She is a sucker for real connections.

She has been through a lot in her life, which taught her that unless it’s real, it is not worth her time. This goes for romantic relationships, friendships, and basically every connection she has with the people in her orbit. Since she is perfectly aware of what she has to offer, she seeks people who are capable of appreciating her worth and encouraging her to move forward. Simply put, if you don’t bring any value to her life, you don’t have a place there.

3. She feels perfectly fine in her own company.

This woman is intelligent enough to realize that she isn’t made to be someone’s half. She is a whole person who is capable of wonders even on her own. Therefore, being alone doesn’t scare her, it moves her. Spending quality time with herself helps her reevaluate her goals, ambitions, and priorities. It gives her space to recharge and continue conquering every single height she aims towards.

4. She can sense fakeness from miles away.

It only takes a single glance for her to sense someone is lying. She has been lied to many times before, which hurt her deeply, but at the same time, taught her how to protect herself from dishonesty. So, if you are planning to play your nasty little mind games, know that none of them will work on her.

5. She can’t stand poor excuses.

If your behavior was toxic, better admit it and apologize. Don’t waste her time with poor excuses because she may be understanding, but she is not dumb. She will see right through your cheap lies, and the respect she has for you will irrevocably disappear.

6. She despises injustice.

This is a woman who has been raised to advocate justice and make a difference from right to wrong. Whenever she witnesses some form of unfairness, her whole being suffocates until things are back to normal. This strong sense of rightfulness she has makes her even more precious. Her heart is made of gold, and she is willing to do anything for the people she loves.

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Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Shallow Socializing & Small Talk https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=introverts-dont-hate-people-they-hate-shallow-socializing-small-talk/ Thu, 19 Nov 2020 08:12:11 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=77449 The post Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Shallow Socializing & Small Talk appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Shallow Socializing & Small Talk

“People inspire you, or they drain you – pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen Do you suspect that you might not be social because you just don’t like people? If you’re getting headaches after spending time around too many people and if you often find yourself getting anxious when you get invited to a […]

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The post Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Shallow Socializing & Small Talk appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Introverts Don’t Hate People, They Hate Shallow Socializing & Small Talk

“People inspire you, or they drain you – pick them wisely.”

– Hans F. Hansen

Do you suspect that you might not be social because you just don’t like people?

If you’re getting headaches after spending time around too many people and if you often find yourself getting anxious when you get invited to a social gathering – do not worry.

There’s nothing wrong with you – you are just a natural introvert.

For introverts, socializing is always something they find uncomfortable doing. They try to steer away from it at all costs. And when they find themselves having to do it, the one thing that freaks them out the most is having to do small talk with people who they’ll never cross paths with again.

Introverts get uncomfortable when they spend too much time around people, especially those they’ve never met.

The thought of going through an awkward conversation makes them incredibly nervous. What will they think of them? Will they be liked, or will they be judged?

And it is mostly the small talk they dread – not the people.

But the truth is, we all have to make small talk from time to time, and while there are some people who don’t have a problem with it, there are others who cannot stand it.

In the world of the introvert, there is a big difference between conversation and small talk.

And while they don’t like talking about trivial things, they love engaging in deep and meaningful conversations.

However, socializing is an integral part of life that we cannot separate from. We cannot expect to stay home and avoid meeting people and lead a healthy life in the process. Human beings need each other.

Hence, it is of vital importance for introverts to find a balance. They need to understand that sometimes there will be instances when their stress levels will rise and it would then simply be best to stay in the comfort of their home. But, other times, they need to do their best to fight off their fears and step out of their comfort zone to meet new people.

And extroverted people might not understand what socializing means for introverts.

For introverts, socializing is much more than simply passing the time.

They wouldn’t be up for spending their free time with their friends just ‘chilling’. They would rather enjoy their own company than being bored and uncomfortable.

Because when they’re on their own they can never get bored. They always find something meaningful to do in their time of solitude.

Although this may sound crazy to extroverts, introverted people will immediately click with what we’re talking about.

Socializing doesn’t come easy to introverts as they find it mentally taxing having to engage in meaningless small talk.

This is why introverts shouldn’t worry too much about what others think of them.

If you don’t feel comfortable mingling at parties, don’t feel bad about staying in. And, if small talk repulses you – don’t indulge in it.

There are many people out there who, just like you, love having deep and meaningful conversations on topics such as psychology, the cosmos, and the meaning of life. Those people are your people. You are simply not made for shallow socializing.

We hope this article was of help to you. Let us know your thoughts on the topic by joining the conversation in the comments and please share if you’ve enjoyed the read. 

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5 Things You Must Know Before Dating Someone With An INTJ Personality Type https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=5-things-you-must-know-before-dating-someone-with-an-intj-personality-type/ Wed, 16 Sep 2020 12:42:21 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=74459 The post 5 Things You Must Know Before Dating Someone With An INTJ Personality Type appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

5 Things You Must Know Before Dating Someone With An INTJ Personality Type

For people who know about the Myers-Briggs personality types, the INTJ personality is “one of the rarest and most strategically capable personality types,” according to 16personalities. The 2% of the people with such personalities are known for their “relentless intellectualism and chess-like maneuvering.” INTJ stands for introverted (people who tend to keep to themselves), intuition (those […]

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The post 5 Things You Must Know Before Dating Someone With An INTJ Personality Type appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

5 Things You Must Know Before Dating Someone With An INTJ Personality Type

For people who know about the Myers-Briggs personality types, the INTJ personality is “one of the rarest and most strategically capable personality types,” according to 16personalities. The 2% of the people with such personalities are known for their “relentless intellectualism and chess-like maneuvering.”

INTJ stands for introverted (people who tend to keep to themselves), intuition (those with a higher focus on thoughts and ideas instead of experiences and facts), thinking (highly logical, less emotional), and judging (highly organized and goal-driven).

A relationship with this type of person can feel tricky, but can also be a deep journey into self-discovery.

So, here are some must-knows about the INTJ personality you should be aware of before dating them.

1. They cannot stand small talk

INTJ types like to explore topics deeply. They don’t feel at ease in the face of unanswered questions. Hence, you should consider choosing a broad topic to talk about with them rather than spending your time together chatting about the weather or how you spent your week at work.

2. They see sex as a mental medicine

Since INTJ’s cannot get out of their own heads, they even take them into the bedroom. What this translates to is basically that they are not satisfied with simple in and out sexual experiences.

They need a deep emotional connection and love experimenting, dirty talking, and all kinds of other things that keep them in the moment so they don’t get lost in their own unrelated thoughts.

3. They love helping others reach their goals

INTJ’s are known for showing their affection by helping people they like get closer to achieving their dreams. They help them understand that failure is part of the process of winning and even though you may have different values than theirs, they will do whatever they can to help you become the best version of yourself.

4. They feel much more than they express

Since INTJ’s aren’t the kind of people who shower others with affection, they may unintentionally make you think that you’re not that important to them. But don’t be fooled. If you’re having doubts about their interest, tell them how you feel and they may respond more positively than you can imagine.

5. They strongly value their alone time

INTJ’s don’t like to be disturbed when they are on a retreat trip inside their own minds. This is their time to make plans and do their best work to accomplish their future goals.

In addition, it helps them get a much-needed boost of energy so they can better socialize the next day. They want to spend time with you (after all they too are human beings) but need to know ahead so they can properly prepare.

We hope this article was of help to you. Let us know your thoughts on the topic by joining the conversation in the comments and please share if you’ve enjoyed the read. 

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Introverts don’t hate people, they just can’t stand shallow socializing https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=introverts-dont-hate-people-they-just-cant-stand-shallow-socializing/ Wed, 05 Aug 2020 08:13:04 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=71689 The post Introverts don’t hate people, they just can’t stand shallow socializing appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Introverts don’t hate people, they just can't stand shallow socializing

If you’re an extrovert, surrounded by other open-minded extroverts, you would probably assume that introverts hate people. You would perceive their quietness for rudeness, their shyness for arrogance, and their modesty for vanity. But if you know a little something about the introverts’ nature, or you are one yourself, then you would know that they […]

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The post Introverts don’t hate people, they just can’t stand shallow socializing appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Introverts don’t hate people, they just can't stand shallow socializing

If you’re an extrovert, surrounded by other open-minded extroverts, you would probably assume that introverts hate people. You would perceive their quietness for rudeness, their shyness for arrogance, and their modesty for vanity. But if you know a little something about the introverts’ nature, or you are one yourself, then you would know that they don’t hate people.

Why introverts simply choose to avoid shallow socializing?

Why introverts simply choose to avoid shallow socializing

In other words, introverts can’t stand pretending to be enjoying a trivial conversation. This doesn’t mean they despise people, or they prefer to be left alone 24/7. It means they would rather engage in deep, meaningful conversations, rather than shallow small talks.

The “I’m too cool to talk to you” persona has nothing to do with the nature of a real introvert. Unfortunately, that’s how most people believe introverts behave all the time. What they don’t see is that this persona actually serves as a coping mechanism. It is much easier to say you don’t like people than to admit you find a simple small talk both terrifying and completely senseless.

So instead of expressing their true feelings about the triviality of social gatherings, when they actually attend one, introverts prefer to talk to the cat or pet the dog. At least the pets won’t put them in awkward situations or pressure them to talk about the weather.

Literally, anything is better than small talk.

However, avoiding awkward chats about how hot it gets this time of the year doesn’t mean hating people. It means preferring to occupy your mind with much more relevant, purposeful things.

Sadly, many people fail to understand this. They wrongfully presume introverts cannot stand being around others. But no one can blame them. The truth is, only a real introvert can see through this coping mechanism. And that’s exactly the reason why introverts spend countless nights lying awake in bed, trying to figure out how to socialize without having to get past the border of small talk.

But how could you talk to someone about your future goals, your wildest dreams, and your biggest fears, if you don’t start with a simple small talk?

To understand better why introverts are like that, you need to try thinking like one. Imagine having to do something that you know is going to be beneficial for you in the long run, but isn’t quite pleasing at the moment. That’s how introverts see socializing. They know it’s good for them, as it would help them meet other people and expand their tiny inner circle, but they simply can’t see themselves surviving through a meaningless conversation about sports or celebrity gossip.

Would you rather talk about the news with people you just met, instead of chilling at home binge-watching your favorite Netflix show? Me neither. It’s simple as that.

However, sometimes it takes a little bravery and a little “Okay, what the hell” to balance things out.

sometimes it takes a little bravery and a little "Okay, what the hell" to balance things out

In order to surround yourself with people whom you can talk to about whatever it is that baffles your mind, you need to make the first step.

In this case, the first step is getting out of your comfort zone. It’s putting jeans instead of an onesie and getting out of the house for a change. And if going out is not an option due to the current circumstances, it’s answering to that video call you’ve been pretending you never received. A simple Friday night chill with a few of your most favorite people through a video chat, while you’re still curled up in bed, wouldn’t harm.

Are you still having doubts about socializing?

Well, think about the situations that brought your closest friends into your life. Would they be by your side now, if you chose to stay home instead of getting out of your shell and making an effort to get to know them? If you take your time to reflect on that thought, you would surely realize that some people are worth the mini anxiety attack you feel when it gets to having a small talk with a stranger. While establishing a strong connection with someone is rare, it’s definitely worth the shot.

Surely, meeting someone with the same level of sensitivity and compassion as you doesn’t happen every day. Not every conversation has to be life-changing. Not every person you meet is there to stay. And that’s perfectly fine. But you need to understand that one awkward, short, a little uncomfortable social event shouldn’t stop you from getting to know others. No matter how hard it may seem, you are stronger than that. Some people are worth the uneasiness of socializing. You just have to get out of your shell and find them.

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7 Defining Signs That Your STRONG PERSONALITY Makes Others Feel Intimidated https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=7-defining-signs-that-your-strong-personality-makes-others-feel-intimidated/ Fri, 03 Jul 2020 10:52:05 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=69479 The post 7 Defining Signs That Your STRONG PERSONALITY Makes Others Feel Intimidated appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

7 Defining Signs That Your Strong Personality Makes Others Feel Intimidated

A strong personality is something a lot of people find intimidating. In a society where weakness and insecurity have sadly become the norm, it is natural for many people to be intimidated and resentful towards those who stand above the herd. And those few people who possess a truly strong personality are the very people […]

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The post 7 Defining Signs That Your STRONG PERSONALITY Makes Others Feel Intimidated appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

7 Defining Signs That Your Strong Personality Makes Others Feel Intimidated

A strong personality is something a lot of people find intimidating.

In a society where weakness and insecurity have sadly become the norm, it is natural for many people to be intimidated and resentful towards those who stand above the herd.

And those few people who possess a truly strong personality are the very people we should all learn from. They emit the powerful confidence many of us wish we could have, and they do not fear to show what they’re made of.

Here are 7 defining characteristics of strong personality traits that can not be shaken down by the insecurities of others.

1. You have the ability to read others quickly

You wield an extremely powerful intuition, and you form accurate judgements of people in a matter of moments after you meet them.

People who are ignorant, dishonest, and bigoted cannot mask their true nature from you – and it drives them crazy.

You do not hold back on calling out rotten behaviour when you see it and are more than capable of putting toxic people in their place.

2. You’re not an attention seeker

You may very well come across as a person who craves to be the centre of attention. But, the truth is, people are drawn to you naturally due to your personality. They admire your openness and honesty. They love being around you.

3. You are decisive

You consider your options with care, but you don’t waste so much time thinking about every little detail that you get paralyzed when it comes to making a decision. You have faith in your own gut feeling to make the right choice and find it frustrating to see others wasting precious time overthinking.

In your eyes, boldness holds immense wisdom and taking action rather than waiting for the approval of everyone around you is the way to go.

4. You are no fan of small talk

Due to your strong will and knowing exactly what you want out of life, small talk can seem like a time-wasting nightmare.

Chit-chatting for the sake of it is a pointless endeavour in your eyes. It is also a waste of time for others, but they don’t seem to realize it.

You have walked away from many dull and boring conversations, and it makes people quite uncomfortable seeing you act this way if you aren’t being delicate about it.

5. You have a low tolerance for stupidity

Your open-minded character and ability for critical thinking means that ignorant and stupid people truly get on your nerves.

You might sometimes be catching yourself thinking, “Why wouldn’t they read a book every now and then?” or “Such ignorance just can’t be excused!”

Even though you are a polite and usually patient person, you spend no more time than truly necessary with people who cannot enrich you intellectually.

6. You don’t accept excuses

You stick to your promises and always go through with them while expecting others to do the same. So when a person commits to something and subsequently starts making all kinds of excuses as to why it cannot be done, you have zero patience for it. You don’t treat those around you like fools and you expect them to not treat you as on either.

7.  You are highly selective when it comes to who you let into your life

Knowing how inconsistent people are these days, you are extremely careful with who let into your life. You would rather have one true friend than 100 fake friends. That is exactly why you only have a select number of people you trust and you are more than happy with them.

When it comes down to friendships in life, quantities are just a waste of time.

We hope this article was of help to you. Let us know your thoughts on the topic by joining the conversation in the comments and please share if you’ve enjoyed the read. 

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This is why introverts hate small talk https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=why-introverts-hate-small-talk/ Fri, 21 Feb 2020 06:54:44 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=61417 The post This is why introverts hate small talk appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

This is why introverts hate small talk

“There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.” – Susan Cain Whether you refer to it as banter or chit-chat, small talk is a big issue for introverts. It makes us feel uncomfortable. It is a big reason why we are hesitant to meet new people. It is one of the […]

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The post This is why introverts hate small talk appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

This is why introverts hate small talk

“There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.” – Susan Cain

Whether you refer to it as banter or chit-chat, small talk is a big issue for introverts.

It makes us feel uncomfortable. It is a big reason why we are hesitant to meet new people. It is one of the must-do social interactions that we don’t like doing.

Small talk is the introvert’s poison.

Our dislike for small talk sometimes makes people think we are socially inept, snobby or just weird. They may think that we are turning our heads away at an important social custom. They believe that we don’t like engaging in small talk because we dislike people. But the truth lies on the opposite side.

Introverts understand that small talk creates an uncomfortable barrier between people. Laurie Helgoe, writer of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, explores this in more detail:

“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”

Sadly, small talk has been classified as socially necessary by the world we live in. Wikipedia has even described it as a “social lubricant”, which makes it sound like good times. But we all know that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Small talk is supposed to be a relaxing and fun experience, and yet it fleets from meaning and depth. Personal topics are considered off-limits. In a similar manner, any show of emotion besides neutral or happy is highly frowned upon. As a consequence, authenticity goes spiraling down the drain.

In reality, small talk only makes two people have a whole conversation without actually getting to know each other.

Instead of being a comfortable experience, the conversation is uninteresting and flat. It’s a predictable boring game of words.

Sometimes small talk could be a segway into a deeper conversation. It can, in addition, help us meet new people and make new friends if we make a good impression.

For us introverts, it is one of those painful obstacles we must overcome in order to get to the sweet spot. We take part in it hoping that we will get to know a person who hates this type of formality with the same intensity as we do.

We hope to mee that person who, like us, asks unscripted questions and laughs at all the things they shouldn’t laugh at. We stick to the wish that our path will cross with someone who is as authentic and unapologetic as we are. We are always on the lookout for people who crave meaning and depth.

We dream of going through the barrier of superficiality where true love would wait for us.

We understand that we will have to go through some small talk to find what we are looking for.

However, do not expect us to enjoy it.

What are your thoughts on small talk? Let us know by joining the conversation in the comments and please share this article if you’ve enjoyed the read.

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Strong women would rather be alone than surrounded by fake people https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=strong-women-would-rather-be-alone-than-surrounded-by-fake-people/ Tue, 21 Jan 2020 08:59:40 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=59497 The post Strong women would rather be alone than surrounded by fake people appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Strong women would rather be alone than surrounded by fake people

She has the power and the grace of the greatest Amazon. That’s why she would never settle for anything less than she deserves. And she will never make an exception for anyone. This fearless woman needs someone who will genuinely love her till the very end. She will never stop until she finds this special […]

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The post Strong women would rather be alone than surrounded by fake people appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Strong women would rather be alone than surrounded by fake people

She has the power and the grace of the greatest Amazon. That’s why she would never settle for anything less than she deserves. And she will never make an exception for anyone.

This fearless woman needs someone who will genuinely love her till the very end. She will never stop until she finds this special someone who will respect her and make her feel adored and appreciated.

What’s more, she prefers to stay alone, and enjoy her own company, than wasting her time on fake relationships. Here’s why.

1. She only cares about real connections.

A woman that has clear goals and is willing to do anything to accomplish them has no time to waste on fake connections. She keeps her circle small, but she deeply loves and appreciates everyone in it. She surrounds herself only with people who inspire her to fulfill her full potential. The ones that stimulate her both emotionally and intellectually, and support her on every step of her journey.

2. She can easily tell if someone’s lying.

In her life, she has been through many challenges and tough lessons. They taught her how to tell when someone’s being genuine, and when someone’s lying to her. Her mind works like a lie detector. If she senses someone misleading her, she would never give this person a second chance.

3. Small talk is not her thing.

Meaningless conversations are not a part of her busy schedule. Besides, she wouldn’t waste her valuable energy on talking about the weather or how Mondays are the worst. She has better things to discuss with people who really have what to say. In fact, she would rather stay silent than being engaged in a small-minded chitchat.

4. She loves spending time alone.

She isn’t afraid of being by herself. Just the opposite, she loves it. She is a strong, independent person who doesn’t need anyone else to feel complete. This amazing woman knows how to have fun and spend quality time on her own. She would always choose solitude over being surrounded by imposters.

5. She can’t stand hypocrites.

She would never stand more than a minute in a hypocrite’s company. Her time is too precious to be spent with posers who say one thing, but end up doing completely the opposite. This absolutely admirable lady needs to be in the company of genuine people who are sincere and appreciate honesty over sugarcoated lies. For her, anyone who would rather create a fake persona for themselves, than be authentic, is utterly pathetic.

6. She’s never impressed by poor excuses.

Nothing can excuse someone’s toxic behavior. Besides, she is not someone who can be easily manipulated. She can spot toxic behavior within seconds, and she will never stand anyone’s hollow made-up excuses. No one can walk over this stunning woman, and she makes it clear at the very beginning. And if someone dares to forget it, she immediately reminds them who she is. She would never tolerate anyone who doesn’t take responsibility for their actions.

7. She despises injustice.

This woman wasn’t born strong and emotionally stable. It was all the pain and all the struggles she has been through that shaped her unique personality. Every life lesson she learned, taught her how to tell the difference between right and wrong. It’s encoded deep in her soul that justice is the greatest power that would lead the world to the progress it needs so much. That’s why she despises injustice and looks down on anyone who uses it to succeed in life.

Strong women know exactly who they are and what they are aiming for. They are not afraid to stay alone if this is what’s best for their growth. This is the sole reason why they prefer to be in their own company, rather than spending their precious time with indecent and unworthy people.

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The 4 things only people who hate small talk will understand https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=things-people-hate-small-talk-will-understand/ Thu, 19 Sep 2019 08:44:31 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=53019 The post The 4 things only people who hate small talk will understand appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

The 4 things only people who hate small talk will understand

Having a big, sometimes too chatty personality poses a difficulty when it comes to small talk. But what do you mean, isn’t it easier for people of this type to socially mingle with others?  Yes and no. Yes, because, okay, you have an outgoing personality. No, because when you have to engage in small talk…you […]

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The post The 4 things only people who hate small talk will understand appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

The 4 things only people who hate small talk will understand

Having a big, sometimes too chatty personality poses a difficulty when it comes to small talk.

But what do you mean, isn’t it easier for people of this type to socially mingle with others?  Yes and no.

Yes, because, okay, you have an outgoing personality. No, because when you have to engage in small talk…you have to tone it down quite a bit. Hence, it feels very odd to be careful with what you’re saying while simultaneously trying to actively participate in this socially acceptable way to interact with new people.

Therefore, here are the four things that really grinds the gears of people who ‘hate’ small talk.

1. You water down your personality.

Firstly, small talk is very limiting due to the fact that you don’t really get to know anything of substance about the person in front of you. The weather, your favorite type of music, where you work…yikes. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is not a crime to know these things. However, when that is the only information you have, you can’t really be yourself because you and the other person are struggling to keep the conversation alive.

And secondly, you are not acting naturally. Okay, one might argue that that’s just how new relationships start, however, you do have to admit that it’s draining sometimes. You are limiting your character to a set of very fundamental, basic questions and feel obligated to engage although you’d much rather talk about something a bit more intriguing.

2. You feel trapped in an endless spiral.

If you think about it, small talk is actually kind of a horrific experience. It always happens at some very awkward situation in which the only thing you want to do is run fast for your life. Jokes aside and all, but it is still true to an extent.

Small talk most often occurs when we don’t know the person too well. Thus, we struggle with two basic types of situations: we either want to be perceived as nice and well-mannered by a stranger, or we are panicking our minds off trying to figure out what to say next to the person we went on a date with, for example.

It’s not the most dangerous and unpleasant situation in the world, but it does make you feel all kinds of uncomfortable. Hence, some of us try very hard to avoid it. Well, we try with no success, as it seems small talk really is a part of life we all have to deal with on a daily basis. Sigh.

3. Small talk feels very unnatural.

Small talk is generally very awkward, to begin with. As already mentioned, it tends to happen when we are in a new atmosphere and are obligated to talk to a stranger.

So, what can you expect?

Yes, tons and tons of awkwardness. Rarely do we experience a genuine interaction, hence the whole communication tends to feel very forced and unnatural. What small talk really consists of is the following: you ramble on about general things whilst getting nowhere interesting with the conversation. Hence, you tend you feel a bit under pressure to say the ‘right’ thing and it goes south pretty quick…

4. You feel pressure to make a stranger feel comfortable.

In all fairness, this displays the essence of the matter: you are stuck there trying your hardest to make a complete stranger or at least a distant acquaintance feel comfortable. It is really curious how we bring it upon ourselves to entertain somebody only because we feel the pressure to.

Well, we do it for ourselves as well in a way, as we want to relieve our social anxiety of ‘not knowing how to behave in front of this new person‘. Really, when you put it in perspective, small talk is a ‘necessary evil’. Well, not ‘evil’, maybe more of an ‘inconvenience’, at least for those of us who don’t enjoy it that much. However, I do understand the notion that it is a socially accepted way to be pleasant and friendly to other people.

So, to this, I say: to each their own.

In conclusion, small talk is definitely a pain for those who just can’t fathom the idea of engaging in pointless conversations just for the purpose of filling an empty void of verbal space. Although most people dislike it, many do participate in this ‘superficial’ social interaction. At the end of the day, it is a friendly way to be polite and engaging with others, I guess…

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75 meaningful questions you can ask your partner to keep your relationship strong https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=questions-keep-your-relationship-strong/ Thu, 01 Aug 2019 07:25:53 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=49039 The post 75 meaningful questions you can ask your partner to keep your relationship strong appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

75 meaningful questions you can ask your partner to keep your relationship strong

Intimate, long-lasting relationships thrive on having a good stream of questions to ask your partner. Spending some time to consider what kind of questions to ask your significant other can be a great tool for both of you to get to know each other more deeply by bringing you closer together through your conversations. Questions […]

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The post 75 meaningful questions you can ask your partner to keep your relationship strong appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

75 meaningful questions you can ask your partner to keep your relationship strong

Intimate, long-lasting relationships thrive on having a good stream of questions to ask your partner.

Spending some time to consider what kind of questions to ask your significant other can be a great tool for both of you to get to know each other more deeply by bringing you closer together through your conversations.

Questions for romantic partners can range from small talk to serious questions to ask your special person.

Regardless of what depth of conversation you’re looking for, this guide is a strong place to start. And no matter the situation, the following questions are sure to help you to connect with your partner on a deeper emotional level.

1. What are your biggest fears?

2. What do you believe we need to work on the most in our relationship?

3. What are the kinds of things that I do or say that make you feel loved?

4. What are the kinds of things that I do or say that make you feel unloved?

5. If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you want to have over for dinner?

6. What’s the thing you always wanted to do as a child but never had the chance to do it?

7. What do you imagine a perfect day would look like?

8. What is the first thing that attracted you to me?

9. Would you ever want to become famous? In what way?

10. What was your favorite date we ever had?

11. Do I touch you enough?

12. Do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say in a phone call?

13. What would be a fun activity we could start doing together?

14. How and when do I make you feel special?

15. When did you last sing to yourself or to someone else?

16. Do you have a sexual activity you would like to try with me but haven’t spoken about?

17. How did we make each other smile recently?

18. If you were to live up till 90 and retain either the body or mind of a 20-year-old for the next 70 years of your life, which would you choose? 

19. What (if anything) scares you the most about our relationship?

20. If given the chance, would you ever sign up for space exploration?

21. Do you have a secret hunch about the circumstances of your death?

22. If you could have a superpower, what would you choose it to be and why?

23. What gives you the most pleasure about our relationship?

24. What is usually the first thing you notice about a person?

25. Let us name three things we love about each other. 

26. What is your favorite book?

27. What do you feel most grateful for in life?

28. How can I help you to maintain your individuality?

29. What do you need to feel inspired and energized in our home?

30. What would you change about the way you were brought up?

31. Is there something you think I’m not entirely truthful about?

32. Tell each other your life stories in as much detail as possible.

33. If you could change something about your body, what would it be?

34. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or ability what would you want it to be?

35. What is the most hurtful thing that I ever said or did to you?

36. What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?

37. Is there something you wish I would start doing during lovemaking?

38. What would you want to know if a crystal ball could answer one of your deepest questions?

39. What’s the worst haircut you ever had?

40. What are your favorite things about my body and my mind?

41. What’s the worst job you ever had?

42. Is there something you always dreamed of doing but haven’t done yet?

43. Have you ever tried online dating? What is your worst experience?

44. Name something that irritates you about me.

45. What is your proudest accomplishment in life?

46. What is the most embarrassing outfit you have ever worn?

47. What is the first thing you would do if one day you woke up invisible?

48. What do you value most in a friendship?

49. What sets me apart from others?

50. What’s something you would love doing the old-fashioned way?

51. What is your most precious memory? Your most terrible memory?

52. How long did you think we would be together when we first met? What about now?

53. Have you ever had a near-death experience?

54. If you found out that you would suddenly die, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?

55. How does it make you feel to be apart from me?

56. Where would you rather travel to, the future or the past?

57. What do you feel most grateful for in life?

58. Have you ever lost someone close to you?

59. What does friendship mean to you?

60. Do you feel your childhood was happier than that of most other kids you knew?

61. What do you believe attracted me to you?

62. What thoughts go through your head when you see me talking with someone of the opposite sex?

63. What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?

64. What is your idea of true romance?

65. What is the thing that makes you the happiest in our relationship?

66. Do you think everything happens for a reason or do we simply find the reasons in the aftermath of things?

67. What is the first thing you would do if you suddenly lost all your fears?

68. Do you believe in a purpose to life? What is yours?

69 When do you feel most alive?

70. How can I be more supportive to you?

71. Have you ever worried that I would be unfaithful?

72. Have you ever had thoughts about being unfaithful to me?

73. Do you believe we spend too much time together?

74.  Are you confident in my feelings for you? What could I do to enhance that?

75. Share a personal problem with your significant other and ask their advice on how to handle it. 

Do you believe this list might be helpful to your own relationship?

Let us know how your thoughts on it, and if you think we may have missed some important points, don’t hesitate to share them with us.

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Introvert Hangovers, Yes, It’s A Real Thing. 12 Signs You Need To Rest And Recharge. https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=introvert-hangovers-real-thing/ Thu, 27 Jun 2019 06:45:40 +0000 https://www.jlawjdv.nl/?man=?p=45412 The post Introvert Hangovers, Yes, It’s A Real Thing. 12 Signs You Need To Rest And Recharge. appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Introvert Hangovers, Yes, It's A Real Thing. 12 Signs You Need To Rest And Recharge.

It might sound strange at first but introvert hangovers are a real thing. If you’re an introvert you’ve probably experienced this dreadful state more than once. Maybe this will ring a bell or two: You’ve just spent the whole day with your family, the day is almost done and you’re exhausted, so exhausted you can […]

The post Introvert Hangovers, Yes, It’s A Real Thing. 12 Signs You Need To Rest And Recharge. appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

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The post Introvert Hangovers, Yes, It’s A Real Thing. 12 Signs You Need To Rest And Recharge. appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

Introvert Hangovers, Yes, It's A Real Thing. 12 Signs You Need To Rest And Recharge.

It might sound strange at first but introvert hangovers are a real thing.

If you’re an introvert you’ve probably experienced this dreadful state more than once.

Maybe this will ring a bell or two:

You’ve just spent the whole day with your family, the day is almost done and you’re exhausted, so exhausted you can barely string a sentence together. You’re mentally, physically and emotionally done and there doesn’t seem to be any more energy left for you to muster up, not even the reserve batch in your big toe is seeming to work. Everyone else is still going and they’re showing no signs of stopping, anytime soon. You’re even considering using matches to keep your eyes open. What’s going on with you?

It’s not like you don’t love your family it’s just that most time, after socializing for a whole day you feel as though you’ve just partook in a cross country marathon.

Well, I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with you and that you’re not alone.

Many introverts experience the same thing after big social events, it’s now been given the very fitting name, ‘Introvert Hangover’ because it usually feels like you’ve either been out drinking all night or you’ve just done some strenuous workout.

To put it simply, its a form of fatigue with very real physical and emotional effects.

Below are 12 signs which indicate you may be experiencing an introvert hangover.

1. You are easily irritated and everything is getting on your nerves.

It’s so bad, even the dress you were happy putting on this morning is working on your nerves. When you have an introvert hangover you end up getting annoyed with the smallest of things. Normally when you leave your keys in the wrong place or misplace your partner makes a snarky comment you react with slight irritation. However, when you’re exhausted from this kind of hangover you end up reacting in a manner that is completely unnecessary. You raise your voice, tears flow and you’re virtually on the verse of a mental breakdown. Exhaustion can lead to fights within even the most loving relationships.

2. No matter how hard you try you literally cannot make any decisions for yourself.

To take a jumper or to not take a jumper? This is the most pressing decision ever. The decision shouldn’t be so hard but for some reason it is. Just thinking about making a decision is making you even more tired than you were before you had to make the decision and the reason being is that when you are mentally exhausted it’s near impossible to make a well thought out decision.

3. Your mind is foggy and you can’t think clearly.

Much like point #2 your brain is mentally tired and your brain feels like porridge. You struggle to keep your train of thought on track and remembering simple things you ought to know is proving to be the most difficult thing ever.

4. You start communicating like an alien from outta space

Your speech begins to change. You slur your words and jumble your sentences, ‘During December’ becomes ‘durincember’ and trying to think of the correct way to say ‘During December’ makes you even more irritated and exhausted you eventually give up and decide to let them decipher your newly found code.

5. You get headaches and sometimes feel uneasy in your tummy

Exhaustion can lead to many physical traits like headaches, dizziness, muscle spasms and even an upset tummy. When this happens it basically your body telling you to get some rest.

6. You’re tired, like really really tired.

This is not just your usual fatigue, it’s a mental, emotional and physical fatigue. The kind that makes you want to sleep and never wake up again. You become snappy and emotional, you avoid love stories and animals videos because you end up balling your eyes out. You become overly sensitive and if someone dares offend you it will be their head!

7. You zone out for more than 10 seconds at a time.

You lose interest in the world around you and end up venturing into your own world for minutes on end. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing you almost always have a minimum 15sec zone out with either frown or blank stare. Most of the time you’re thinking about nothing and then other times you’re deep in thought about absurd things like, whether ants in America speak to each other in English and whether ants in Spain talk to each other in Spanish.

8. Anxiety becomes your arch nemesis.

For most introverts, an introvert hangover brings out the worst of their anxiety because being so exhausted makes them even more nervous. You start worrying that you’ll say the wrong thing or snap for no apparent reason.

9. You start feeling slightly depressed.

All you want to do is recluse and rest but because life sometimes requires you to be in a social situation you end up experiencing slight depression. Your thoughts and outlook on life becomes negative and cynical.

10. You are clearly not your normal self.

Friends, co-workers and family can see that somethings up, not everyone knows you’re an introvert so they can’t necessarily pinpoint what’s wrong but there’s a definite change in behaviour within you.

11. Your small talk isn’t polite anymore.

No matter how hard you try you just can’t seem to keep a smile on your face while engaging in boring, pointless small talk.

12. More than anything else, you desire to be alone.

The thing that makes introverts so different to extroverts is the insatiable desire to be alone. It’s a vital part of healing and recharging. So when you’re experiencing an introvert hangover all that really matters is your own space, favourite book or TV show and comfort food. No other humans, at all.

Self-love and self-care is the most important thing we as humans can do for ourselves. So if you feel the need to leave the party early because you are exhausted, leave! You need to always do what’s best for your wellbeing. Recharge and then face the new day with renewed energy.

The post Introvert Hangovers, Yes, It’s A Real Thing. 12 Signs You Need To Rest And Recharge. appeared first on I Heart Intelligence.com.

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